


We’re All Kinda Idiots

by orphan_account



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Funny, M/M, Texting, everyone loves newt, gally is kind of a jerk, minho likes skittles, newtmas - Freeform, not sure what’s gonna happen in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27955718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Basically a chat fic between some of the Gladers. Alternate universe where they have phones and stuff because I thought it would be funny. Yeah— just read it.I hope you guys enjoy!*emphasis on the hope*
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy everyone  
> That was an unnecessary amount of ‘y’s but anyway  
> Welcome to the first chapter!  
> Not much happens in this one, they just kinda talk and Alby gets stuck on caps lock.  
> So yeeeeah  
> Enjoy?

_Thomas (Greenie50) has added Newt (TheGlue), Minho (TheBest), Alby (Alby1) and Gally (TheActualBest) to the chat._

**Newt:** What is this...?

 **Thomas:** It’s a texting group chat!

 **Minho:** Why’s Gally in it?

 **Gally:** Ahem, why wouldn’t I be?

 **Newt:** You’re annoying

 **Alby:** I think Gally was added as an afterthought

 **Gally:** Was not.

 **Thomas:**....actually yeah they’re right

 **Newt:** ANYWAY

 **Newt:**...

 **Newt:** I forget what I was going to bloody say

 **Minho:** *applause*

 **Alby:** So.... what are we gonna do?

 **Gally:** Argue?

 **Alby:** No

 **Gally:** Annoy each other?

 **Minho:** No

 **Gally:** You shanks are no fun...

 **Thomas:** Can we just talk about the fact that Alby’s username is Alby1?

 **Alby:** I COULN’T THINK OF ANYTHING

 **Newt:** Why not just Alby?

 **Alby:** It was taken—

 **Minho:** And I’m TheBest

 **Gally:** And I’m TheActualBest

 **Minho:** WAIT

 **Minho:** YOU-

 **Minho:** I’m gonna kill you

 **Gally:** Have fun

 **Minho:** And then when you’re dead, I’ll resurrect you so I can kill you again

 **Gally:** I’d like to see you try—

 **Newt:** Stop arguing, guys

 **Gally:** And how’re you gonna stop us?

 **Newt:** Minho, if you shut your face I’ll give you some Skittles

**Minho:**

**Minho:** Argument over, I want Skittles

 **Gally:** Cheater-

 **Thomas:** Nice job, Newt

 **Newt:** Thanks, Tommy

 **Alby:** GSNBDHENANACESRXGYN:HSNDHJSSKA/

 **Thomas:**...what

 **Alby:** MY CAT STEPPED ON MY KEYBOARD

 **Newt:** Wow

 **Alby:** WAIT WHY IS EVERYTHING IN CAPS?!

 **Gally:** Do you have caps lock on?

 **Alby:** NO

 **Thomas:** You sure?

 **Alby:** NO

 **Alby:** HOW DO YOU TURN IT OFF???

 **Newt:** Push the buggin’ caps lock button!!!

 **Thomas:** Yes, Alby, you idiot

 **Alby:** IT’S NOT WORKIN’

 **Newt:** How many bloody times did you push it?

 **Alby:** A LOT

 **Gally:** Try pushing it ONCE

 **Gally:** Just ONE time

 **Alby:** I- oh.

 **Alby:**...thanks

 **Minho:** Idiot.


	2. Grocery Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter....  
> -Newt is forced to go grocery shopping  
> -Gally wants a coconut  
> -Nobody knows what an orange is  
> -Newtmas if you squint hard enough  
> Hope you like it!

**Thomas:** Nooooooooooot

 **Newt:**...why

 **Newt:** why me

 **Thomas:** NOOT ARE YA LISTENING?

 **Newt:** YES

 **Thomas:** Can you go get groceries?

 **Newt:** Why can’t Minho get them?

 **Minho:** I don’t want to

 **Newt:** Alby?

 **Alby:** Nope :)

**Newt:**

**Newt:** I’m not going to bother askin’ Gally

 **Gally:** Wise decision

-later-

 **Newt:** Alright.... what do you shanks want?

 **Minho:** SKITTLES

 **Newt:** WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND SKITTLES?!

 **Minho:** They taste good.

 **Newt:** Fine, I’ll get your bloody Skittles

 **Minho:** :D

 **Newt:** What else do we need?

 **Thomas:** Oranges

 **Newt:** Okay—

 **Thomas:** The red ones

**Newt:**

**Newt:** wHAT

 **Gally:** I think he means apples

 **Thomas:** Yeah get some of those

 **Newt:** I-

 **Newt:** You guys are ~~idiots~~

 **Thomas:** Did you get my red oranges??

 **Newt:** Yes...

 **Thomas:** Yayyyyy

 **Newt:** Okay

 **Newt:** What else?

 **Gally:** We’re out of milk

 **Newt:** Finally, a normal request

 **Newt:** I can’t believe I’m saying this, but THANK YOU, GALLY

 **Gally:** You’re welcome

 **Minho:** Hurry up and bring me my Skiiiiiittles

 **Newt:** I’m comin’, be patient

 **Alby:** Can you get some oranges?

 **Thomas:** He already got oranges

 **Alby:** Yeah but I like the yellow ones

**Newt:**

**Newt:** W

 **Newt:** H

 **Newt:** A

 **Newt:** T

 **Minho:** He means bananas

 **Newt:** I-

 **Newt:** I’m done

 **Newt:** No more requests

 **Gally:** But I want a coconut

 **Newt:** WHY

 **Gally:** They taste good

 **Thomas: 🎶** Ko ko kokokoko nut🎶

 **Newt:** Minho please make Tommy shut up before I punch him

 **Minho:** Can you even do that from the phone screen?

 **Newt:** Try me.

_Minho (TheBest) banished Thomas (Greenie50) from the chat._

**Gally:** You can do that?!

 **Gally:** Can I do that??

 **Minho:** Yes, and no

 **Gally:** Awwww

 **Minho:** Only me and Newt can do it to people

**Minho:**

**Minho:** That came out wrong—

 **Alby:** Yep it kinda did

 **Newt:** Aaaaanywayyyyy

 **Gally:** Newt: master of awkward transitions

 **Newt:** Slim it, shuck-face

 **Newt:** ANYWAY

 **Newt:** I’m leaving now so I hope you’re all happy

 **Gally:** Did you get my coconut?

**Newt:**

**Newt:** No

 **Gally:** I WANT A COCONUT

 **Newt:** NO

**Gally:** _coconut, coconut, coconut_

**Alby:** _Coconut, Coconut, Coconut_

**Minho:** _COCONUT! COCONUT! COCONUT!_

**Newt:** NO!

 **Newt:** I AM NOT GETTING A COCONUT!

_Minho (TheBest) has added Thomas (Greenie50) to the chat._

**Newt:** What—

 **Thomas:** Noooot

 **Newt:** What are you doing—

 **Thomas:** Noooot can you pleeeeeeeeease get a coconut?

**Newt:**

**Newt:** I hate all of you

 **Alby:** I didn’t do anything

 **Alby:** It’s Minho’s fault

 **Newt:** Don’t matter

 **Gally:** Wait are you getting my coconut

 **Newt:** Yes...

 **Gally:** Yay

 **Minho:** I think we know how to get Newt to do stuff for us

 **Minho:** Just get Thomas to ask

 **Newt:** Shut it

 **Minho:** Just sayin’

-later-

 **Gally:** THIS IS NOT A COCONUT

 **Gally:** THIS IS A SHUCK POTATO

 **Newt:** Oops sorry must have mixed them up

 **Gally:** I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU

 **Thomas:** You can’t.

 **Thomas:** Newt just left.

 **Thomas:** With a coconut.


	3. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter.....  
> -More Newtmas  
> -Someone’s gonna get kicked  
> -Lots of feels  
> -And basic everyone being idiots  
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m having way too much fun with this—

**Minho:** I’m bored

 **Thomas:** Same

 **Minho:** Wanna play truth or dare?

 **Thomas:** Sure

 **Alby:** Okay

 **Gally:** Yes

 **Newt:** No I do not

 **Thomas:** Why not??

 **Gally:** You got something to hide?

**Newt:**

**Newt:** Yes actually so we’re not playin’

 **Thomas:** I dare you to play truth or dare with us

 **Minho:** Ooooh

 **Newt:** You can’t do that

 **Alby:** Yes he can. You have to play, Newt

 **Newt:** No

 **Gally:** Yes

 **Newt:** No

 **Gally:** Yes

 **Newt:** nO

 **Gally:** yES

 **Newt:** NO

 **Thomas:** YES

 **Newt:** FINE

 **Minho:** Yay :D

 **Thomas:** Who wants to start?

 **Minho:** THOMAS TRUTH OR DARE?

**Thomas:**

**Thomas:**.....truth

 **Minho:** What do you think of Newt?

 **Newt:** whAT—

 **Alby:** Ooooooh

 **Gally:** Ooooooooooh

**Thomas:**

**Thomas:** I mean he’s nice and stuff

 **Thomas:** And like he has a nice smile and his eyes are pretty

 **Newt:**............

 **Alby:** OoOoOoOo

 **Gally:** OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

 **Minho:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Thomas:**.........

 **Thomas:** Shut up, truth or dare, Gally?

 **Gally:** Dare

 **Thomas:** I dare you to punch Minho

 **Minho:** WHAT

 **Minho:** WHY

 **Alby:** This escalated quickly

 **Gally:** I would, but he’s like three blocks away

 **Minho:** I FEEL BETRAYED

 **Thomas:** Fair enough. Just kick him really hard next time you see him

 **Gally:** Will do

 **Minho:** WHAT DID I DO

 **Newt:** YOU INVOLVED ME IN THE QUESTION THAT I DID NOT WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN

 **Minho:** THAT DOESN’T MEAN I DESERVE TO BE KICKED

 **Newt:** YOU DO

 **Gally:** MY TURN

 **Gally:** Newt!

 **Newt:** Shuck

 **Gally:** Truth or Dare?

**Newt:**

**Newt:** This is gonna be bad no matter what

 **Newt:** Truth.

 **Gally:** If you could date any of us, who would you date?

**Newt:**

**Thomas:**

**Newt:** Does Teresa count?

 **Minho:** You’re gay

**Newt:**

**Newt:** Do I count?

 **Alby:** You can’t date yourself

**Newt:** _I can try_

**Gally:** Nope

**Newt:**

**Newt:** Then Thomas I guess

**Thomas:**

**Minho:** OoOoOo Noot liiiiikes Tommy!

 **Alby:** OOooooooOoOoOooOooooOo

 **Gally:** Hahaha

 **Newt:** I never said that!!!

 **Galky:** Then what did you say? 😏

 **Newt:** That he was the best option

**Thomas:**

**Minho:** But actually would you date him?

**Newt:**

**Newt:**

**Newt:**

**Newt:**

**Newt:**.........maybe

**Thomas:**

**Newt:**

**Thomas:**

**Newt:**

**Thomas:**

**Newt:** Anyyyyyywaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy

 **Gally:** But—

 **Thomas:** ANYWAYYYYY it’s Newt’s turn

 **Newt:** Alby, truth or dare?

 **Alby:** Truth.

 **Gally:** Boooooo

 **Newt:** If you could kick anyone right now, who would it be?

 **Alby:** Gally

 **Thomas:** Hahaha

**Gally:**

**Minho:** Hahahahahahahahaha

 **Gally:** Honestly I hate all of you

 **Newt:** You say that a lot

 **Gally:** And I mean it every time. 

**Alby:** Guess I’m last. Truth or dare, Minho?

 **Minho:** Dare.

 **Alby:** I dare you to give me your phone password

 **Minho:** You can’t do that—

 **Gally:** He can, actually

**Minho:**

**Minho:** Truth.

 **Alby:** What’s your phone password?

 **Minho:** You’re the worst.

 **Minho:** BetterThenAlby100

 **Alby:** You sure it’s not Better _Than_ Alby100?

**Minho:**

**Minho:**..........Is that how it’s supposed to be written?

 **Alby:** Yes

**Minho:**

**Minho:** Oh.


	4. The Charging Cord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter:  
> -Newt’s phone dies  
> -Thomas gets attacked by Newt  
> -And just weird randomness  
> -Yeah okay that was a great summary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who’s read this so far! :)

**Newt:** Alright, who took it?

 **Alby:** Took what?

 **Newt:** The shuck charging cord

 **Newt:** My phone is dyin’ and I can’t find it

 **Thomas:** You know it seems kind of stupid that we all live together and yet we only own one charging cord

 **Minho:** We’re good at being stupid

 **Alby:** We technically don’t live together

 **Alby:** Our apartments are just all right next to each other

 **Newt:** THEN WHY DO WE SHARE A CHARGING CORD

 **Thomas:** Because we’re good at being stupid

 **Minho:** Did you just quote me?

 **Thomas:** Yes

 **Minho:** Nice

 **Newt:** Aaaaaaaaanywayyyyyy

 **Newt:** WHO TOOK IT?

 **Alby:** Did you ask Gally?

**Newt:**

**Newt:** GALLY GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND GIVE ME THE CHARGING CORD BACK

 **Gally:** I don’t have it

**Newt:**

**Newt:** THEN WHO DOES??

 **Thomas:** No clue

 **Alby:** What percentage is your phone at, Newt?

 **Newt:** 2%

 **Newt:** Hold up it’s at 1% now

 **Thomas:** Did you ask Minho if he has it?

 **Minho:** EXCUSE ME I DO NOT HAVE IT

 **Newt:** MINHO GIMME IT NOW

 **Minho:** I DON’T HAVE THE SHUCK CORD

 **Minho:** THOMAS HAS IT

 **Alby:** I like how Thomas is just laughing his face off over here

 **Thomas:** MINHO!!!

 **Newt:** THOMAS!!!!

 **Thomas:** Someone’s in trouuuuuuble

**Newt:**

**Thomas:** It’s me.

 **Thomas:** I don’t know why I did that

 **Newt:** I NEED THE CHARGING CORD

 **Newt:** GIVE IT

 **Thomas:** MAKE ME

 **Gally:** I’m enjoying thisimmensly.

 **Alby:** That’s not how you spell immensely 

**Gally:**

**Gally:** No one CARES

 **Newt:** THOMAS JUST GIVE ME THE BLOODY CHARGING CORD

 **Thomas:** NoNonOnoNonOnOnoNoNoOoOooOoOoO

 **Newt:** PLEASEEEEEEEEE

 **Minho:** Ooh, he’s begging now

 **Thomas:** NoOoOooOoOooOO

 **Newt:** YeEeEeEEeeEeeEeeeEeessssssss

 **Thomas:** NO

 **Newt:** YES

_Newt (TheGlue) has been disconnected from the chat._

**Minho:** Haha his phone died

 **Gally:** That was entertaining

 **Alby:** Someone should probably give him the cord...

 **Thomas:** HELP ME I’M BEING ATTACKED

 **Minho:** I think Newt’s gonna get it himself

 **Thomas:** HAHDBSNAJJSJSJSJS GIVE IT TO ME, TOMMY HJADJHDAHJ HAHVHKIW 

**Thomas:** I DIDN’T KNOW SOMEONE SO SKINNY COULD BE SO AGGRESSIVE

 **Alby:** Just give it to him-

 **Thomas:** I LOST IT

 **Thomas:** IJHJHEWVOJHJOQOIHIGOWDQVJOCSAOVJ SACVJN QVIOSCQ J OAD THOMAS SUCKS

 **Thomas:** NEWT!!!

 **Thomas:** OW

 **Gally:** I’m rooting for Newt here

 **Minho:** That’s because he’s winning

 **Gally:** Exactly.

 **Alby:** How are you still texting us while being attacked by Newt??

 **Thomas:** I HAVE NO CLUE

 **Thomas:** THANK GOD HE FOUND IT

 **Thomas:** AND HE LEFT

 **Thomas:** ALSO OW

 **Minho:** Okay, everybody back to bed, it’s 3 am

 **Gally:** ‘Night, everyone

 **Alby:** Goodnight

 **Thomas:** Goodnight. 

**Thomas:** My phone is cracked now—

 **Minho:** Haha.

 **Minho:** That’s what you get for cruelty to Noot

 **Thomas:** Frick you.

 **Minho:** :)


	5. Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of just a short thingy  
> Yeah.  
> I’m too lazy to do like an actual summary.

**Thomas:** Newt

 **Thomas:** Neeeeeeeeewwwwt

 **Thomas:** Nooooooot

 **Thomas:** NOOT

 **Thomas:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOT ANSWER MEEEEE

 **Newt:** What now?!

 **Thomas:** Hi.

**Newt:**

**Newt:** Is that all you’re gonna say?

 **Thomas:** Yes.

**Newt:**

**Thomas:** I mean no?

**Newt:**

**Thomas:** Maybe? 

**Newt:**

**Thomas:**........noot?

**Newt:**

**Newt:** It’s 1 am

 **Newt:** You’re textin’ me at 1 am for NO REASON?!

 **Thomas:** M’bored

 **Newt:** Why am I friends with you-

 **Thomas:** No clue.

 **Newt:** That was a rhetorical question.

 **Thomas:** Oh.

**Thomas:**

**Thomas:** Wanna play I spy?

 **Newt:** No.

 **Thomas:** Would you rather?

 **Newt:** No.

 **Thomas:** Yes or no?

 **Newt:** No

 **Newt:** Wait, what’s ‘yes or no’?

 **Thomas:** It’s where I ask you a bunch of weird questions and you have to answer yes or no

 **Thomas:** And you get bonus points for answerin’ fast

 **Newt:** Fine.

 **Thomas:** Okay, here we go.

 **Thomas:** Do you like pancakes?

 **Newt:** Yes

 **Thomas:** Is a hotdog a sandwich?

 **Newt:** No?

 **Thomas:** Are you asleep?

 **Newt:** No

 **Thomas:** Am I annoying yet?

 **Newt:** No

 **Thomas:** Is the sky blue?

 **Newt:** Yes

 **Thomas:** Is my name actually Thomas?

 **Newt:**...yes?

 **Thomas:** Are you dead?

 **Newt:** No

 **Thomas:** Is water wet?

 **Newt:** Yes

 **Thomas:** Do you have any friends?

 **Newt:** Yes

 **Thomas:** Am I one of them?

 **Newt:** Yes

 **Thomas:** Are there 364 days in a leap year?

 **Newt:** No

 **Thomas:** Am I annoying yet?

 **Newt:** Yes

 **Thomas:** Am I cute?

 **Newt:** Yes

**Thomas:**

**Newt:** **** I mean no

 **Minho:** Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 **Newt:** I MEANT NO

**Thomas:**

**Minho:** Hehehehehehehehehehe

 **Newt:** Minho I will not hesitate to punch you

 **Newt:** Also why are you awake 

**Alby:** I’m here too

 **Newt:** Why are you both awake

 **Gally:** Hello

 **Newt:** Why are you all awake

 **Minho:** We wanted to watch the action

 **Alby:** Mhm

 **Newt:** There’s nothin’ to see here, go away

**Thomas:**

**Minho:** I dunno, that looked like something

 **Alby:** NEWT AND THOMAS SITTIN’—

_Newt (TheGlue) has deleted the chat group._


End file.
